A Meeting Straight From Hell
by Murayama-Tsuru
Summary: A take on how I think Abuto and Kamui met and how Kamui became captain. No pairings, except maybe onesided Abuto and Kujaku Hime Kada, but not really


**Hello again or for the first time, Murayama Tsuru here. I decided to write another Gintama oneshot. This one is about Kamui and Abuto's first meeting, since that's an interesting topic to me. I hope you enjoy.**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama; it is the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

On a normal day in the Harusame 7th Squad ship, Abuto would usually hang around in the kitchen around lunch time watching the chef cook. If he was lucky, he'd get tidbits and get a double meal. Usually he'd steal them while the chef wasn't paying attention but sometimes the chef would be nice and give them to him. But today was not a normal day. Ungyo decided to show up right as Abuto was about to steal an especially large tidbit. "Oi, Abuto, Captain Toya wants to see you." So he sighed and put back the half a dozen chunks of tuna he was about to stuff into his mouth (Chef had given a particularly nasty look this time) and said "What does our incompetent bastard of a captain want this time?"

"Not sure, probably the usual though." Abuto nodded and went for the door. When he was almost out the door Ungyo said "And Abuto? You really shouldn't call Captain Toya an incompetent bastard; he's bound to hear you some day. And when that day comes, you'll be in even more trouble than you're already in."

"Ah Ungyo, don't worry about it. I started calling him an incompetent bastard since the day he became Hosen's second in command. He didn't hear me then, and he won't hear me now."

"Tch, Abuto, that tongue of yours is going to land you in a ton of trouble. Besides, you only call Toya an incompetent bastard because you're mad Hosen chose him instead of you to be second in command."

"Yeah, I don't like him becuase Hosen chose him over me, and he's a horrible tactician. But also, he's got a huge stick up his ass. I play one prank on the guy, and he's hated me ever since. But really, I see no reason to worry about it, so you shouldn't either. Abayo Ungyo."Abuto dismissed with a wave of his hand and not a look back.

When he arrived at the captain's office, Abuto nocked (after all, he liked to put up the front of being a polite, loyal subordinate) and then entered. Upon entering, Abuto noticed that the office was as neat as ever. While his gaze was wandering captain Toya started talking, making Abuto jump, "Abuto, I need you to go to our home planet and recruit new members. With that last confrontation with the Renho our numbers have dropped substantially. Who new old men in duck costumes were so strong?" Abuto chuckled and nodded so Toya continued "Take Unkyo with you. If my memory serves there are some real strong ones back home so you'll want the backup." Abuto nodded again and Captain Toya dismissed him, leaving Abuto to go find Unkyo.

Unkyo, being Ungyo's twin, looks exactly like Ungyo; burly, shaved head with a small patch on the top his head with a long braid, and a large bushy beard. Because the two are twins, Unkyo eventually dyed his hair white so people would stop mixing them up (mostly Abuto teasing them, they were as different as night and day to him). Eventually Abuto found Unkyo and the two went to the hangar to catch a ship to their planet.

In the hangar, Abuto was greeted by the vision of Kujaku Hime Kada. Unable to help himself, Abuto wandered over to say hi while Unkyo rolled his eyes.

"Hey pretty lady, where you off to? It's not often I see you down here."

"If you must know, I'm off to earth to gather funds. And where are you going?" Kada sighed and moved away from Abuto slightly. Undeterred, Abuto answered and moved closer "We're going back home to recruit new members. That last war with the Renho really brought our numbers down. Maybe if we get back at the same time we could go to dinner? To celebrate our missions accomplished."

At this, Kada looked at him and said "Abuto, you know I don't date anyone who hasn't beaten me in a game. You haven't, so I will not be going to dinner with you any time soon. And I doubt we'll be getting back at the same time anyway, my mission will be much longer than yours. So as I've always heard you say, Abayo Abuto." And she sashayed away leaving Abuto open-mouthed and feeling more than a little hurt. When he walked back over to the ship, he saw Unkyo had a smirk on. "Not a word." Abuto hissed, but Unkyo ignored him and said "Ah, poor Abuto always getting jilted by the Kujaku Hime. How many times is it now?"

"Shut up and get on the ship Unkyo." Unkyo chuckled but acquiesced without saying anything further.

When the two arrived on the Yato home planet, Abuto, handing Unkyo a cell phone, said "First we should scout separately then meet up at the rendezvous point tomorrow and talk about the prospective recruits. Since Captain Toya said there are some strong ones, if you need back up call me." Unkyo nodded and they two went their separate ways.

As Abuto walked the familiar streets of the ever-raining city, he noticed how almost nothing had changed since the last time he was there. The city was still as rundown and grey-looking as ever. The one thing that had changed, though, was that people weren't milling around on the streets as they usually did. Which meant that he wasn't able to find any prospective recruits on a quick walk of the city. Abuto sighed at this, because it meant he would have to eventually knock on doors and deal with grizzly-bear Yato mothers who didn't want their children to leave home for the Harusame Space Pirates. Who could blame them though; they didn't exactly have the cleanest reputation even for Yato standards. Even Abuto's mother had practically beaten him bloody when she heard he wanted join the Harusame.

Thinking about his mother, made Abuto miss her home cooking. It also set his feet on the path toward her house. But as soon as he realized where he was going his cell phone buzzed. He was relieved to have a reason not to go see his mother (she would most likely nag him about how she wanted grandkids and that Abuto should stop going after women he knows he can't have and find a nice Yato wife already) and opened his phone. It was a text from Unkyo saying "Need backup. I'm at the field by northside, come as soon as you can." Abuto quickly headed in the direction Unkyo texted about. He had a bad feeling; Unkyo hardly ever asked for backup, it went against his nature.

When Abuto arrived at the field, he saw the familiar blur of bullets and fists of a Yato battle. As he watched, it looked like Unkyo was struggling in the battle; but by the time Abuto decided he needed to join the fight it was over. Unkyo was lying, dead, in a steadily growing pool of his blood, a braided red haired kid standing over him with an animalistic smile adorning his lips. The kid then looked over at Abuto and said in an overly cheerful voice, "Was this your buddy? Sorry, I killed him. He had quite a temper, I only made a small comment on his hair and he comes charging at me. Said he was from some organization called the 'Harusami Space Pirates' you a part of it too?"

"It's Harusame, not Harusami. Yes I'm a part of them. My name's Abuto and I've come here on a recruitment mission with the guy you just killed. After watching you're fight I'd like to…" before Abuto could continue, the red-haired kid's face changed into the same animalistic look he had on earlier and charged at Abuto. Part in self-defense, part in love of a good fight, Abuto charged as well. But before the fight could begin full force, the boy, rather comically, slipped in the pool of Unkyo's blood. Abuto, seeing the chance, pointed his umbrella-gun at the boy's head and continued speaking, "As I was saying, I'd like to recruit you into the Harusame. Because I haven't seen anyone else and because you killed Unkyo, I'm hoping to return today. When we get back I'll give you the application, but I'm guessing with your fighting skill you'll be recruited even if you botch the application."

The kid, who had been paying more attention to the muzzle of Abuto's gun while Abuto was speaking, looked up at Abuto when he was done and said in that same overly cheerful voice "Sure, I'll come with you. I've nothing better to do on this boring planet anyway. My name's Kamui by the way."

Abuto nodded and was about remove his umbrella-gun from Kamui's head, but before he could Kamui grabbed the muzzle and broke it in half. Kamui then stood up and started walking away. Kamui then looked back, smiled a toothy grin and said with no hint of malice "Abuto, if you ever point a gun at me again, I will do more than just break your weapon." This left Abuto, for the second time that day, open-mouthed and unable to move. But he quickly recovered and ran after Kamui after picking up Unkyo's body.

On the ride back to the 7th Squad ship, Abuto handed Kamui the application, telling him to ask if there were any problems. After a few minutes of what looked to Abuto like intense concentration, Kamui's Ahoge drooped and he looked up at Abuto with an almost cute, pleading expression. Kamui then whimpered "Abuto, I'm hungry. Will you fill this out for me while I eat something?" Abuto sighed, this kid was something else. He produced the dozen Keppei he nicked from the kitchen before departing for home then held out his hand for the form.

Abuto took one look at the form then Tch'ed. He then looked up at Kamui and said "You doodled on it. All that concentration was for a doodle, what's it even supposed to be?"

Kamui, with a mouthful of Keppei, responded barely legibly, "Hey, I worked hard on that! It's supposed to be you; see the sandy hair and bored expression." Abuto sighed and rolled his eyes; but instead of throwing away the doodled on form, he folded it up and put it in his pocket (after all, it was the first time someone had drawn him). Then he took out another form and started filling it out. (A/N: the application is really simple, I couldn't think of anything complicated. Besides, I think of the Yato as being more brawn than brain ^_^)

Name: Kamui

Age: 13 ("Hey, kid, how old are you?" "Thirteen, and don't call me kid.")

Father's name: "Umibaldo" ("Don't you mean Umibouzu?" "No, I mean Umibaldo. He's balding so that's what I call him." "Wow, I feel sorry for Umibouzu now." "You shouldn't, he deserves the name.")

Mother's name: Shinka ("Hey, don't write that down, I told you not to. Erase it!" "Can't, sorry, I wrote in pen…Fine, fine, I'll just cross through it!" "Thought so.")

Siblings: None? ("Well do you have any siblings?" "Why do you want to know?" "If they're half the fighter I think you are, then we'll want to recruit them too." "In that case, no, I don't have any siblings.")

Kill Count: A lot ("Can I get a number?" "Don't remember, I lost count around the third day." "Ah, I see. So you're the reason there was nobody hanging around outside.")

When the two had finished Kamui's application, Kamui promptly fell asleep. He looked so innocent when he was asleep; it was hard for Abuto to imagine him as a cold-blooded Yato killer. No use worrying about it, the kid would be an immense asset to the squad.

* * *

"What do you mean you only recruited one person? We need more than one to make up for the losses we sustained from the fight with the Renho!"

Abuto sighed; this really wasn't how he wanted to spend his time. Immediately after he returned to the ship, Captain called him to his office to ask how the mission went (Apparently he didn't read the report Abuto had sent). He wanted to yell at Captain Toya for not going himself, but instead he calmly said "Captain, did read the report? The kid I recruited is as strong as a thousand Yato. He more than makes up for whatever losses we sustained."

Toya gave him a hard look, but in the end didn't say anything further and dismissed him. So Abuto left for the kitchen to see what was for lunch today. On the way, he passed by Ungyo. Ungyo was looking better than when Abuto first got back and told him the news. But Ungyo is a Yato, so death on the battlefield is nothing uncommon (still, it was good that he wasn't taking it too hard).

When he got to the kitchen, he saw the chef exiting with his hands thrown up in the air grumbling "That's it! I quit!" he turned to give Abuto a malevolent glare, "That kid you recruited is worse than you! I swear, where did that kid learn to eat all that food! You'd think he was starved when he was younger!" with that the chef stalked off, leaving Abuto chuckling as Kamui devoured the rest of what would be their dinner.

As the months went by, Abuto watched as Kamui became more and more popular among the crew of the 7th squad. The boy was fearless and strong; both extremely good qualities for a Yato. Abuto was even starting to hear rumors about how Kamui would make a better captain than Toya (Ok, so he had started those rumors. So what?). So Abuto began formulating a plan to install Kamui as the new captain.

As Abuto was walking down the hall reading Captain Toya's monthly report, Kamui suddenly jumped up onto Abuto's back and asked "Hey, Abuto? What'cha reading? Did you get me the latest Shonen Jump I asked for?" Abuto, not saying anything, handed Kamui his Jump and continued walking. Kamui, annoyed that Abuto hadn't answered his other question, flopped down and started reading his Jump while hanging off Abuto's shoulders. After a while, Abuto stopped walking and asked "Hey, Kamui, how would you like to become captain?"

* * *

A week later, Abuto heard the news that he wanted to hear (and his answer to the question Abuto asked Kamui a week ago). There was a rule in the 7th squad that if a captain was unsatisfactory to a member of the squad; they could challenge the captain to a duel (to the death of course) to become the new captain. If the member won, they'd become captain. But, if they lost, no other member can challenge the current captain again for as long the captain specifies. The last time this happened was when someone's challenged Hosen's leadership and lost. Hosen had than decreed that on one else could challenge him and that he would appoint the next captain when he saw fit. And now, Kamui was challenging Toya to a duel for captain. To the rest of the members of the 7th squad, it was a complete surprise. And all Abuto could do was give Kamui a small smile as they waited for Toya to appear.

When Toya entered the ring, he clearly looked rattled as if he truly hadn't seen this coming. It made Abuto almost feel sorry for the guy that he was going to lose his title (and life). But when Toya looked directly at Abuto and said "If I win this, will you make sure no one challenges me again?" Abuto gave him a bored stare and said coldly "No, Toya, I won't. I don't think you get it, this is a coup. If Kamui loses, which I highly doubt, the rest of us will kill you. Sorry captain, we've all gotten tired of your incompetency, so this is good bye. Abayo, Captain Toya" Toya looked at Abuto in abject horror while Abuto pushed him to the center of the ring.

* * *

Eventually five years passed with Kamui as captain and the 7th Squad thrived. Under Captain Kamui, the 7th Squad became known as "Buntai Chizame Yato". At first, Abuto was expecting to be able to relax and not do too much work. But he soon came to realize that Kamui was a terrible politician and was extremely bad at doing paperwork (also Kamui's Ahoge seemed to distract people, so Abuto ended up making most public announcements to keep the casualties down). So he ended up doing more work under Captain Kamui than he ever had to do under Captain Toya.

One day as Abuto was hanging in the kitchen, seeing what the new chef was cooking today (they had gone through many chefs because Kamui ate so much), Ungyo came in and called "Oi, Abuto, Captain Kamui wants to see us." So Abuto nodded and followed him. When they arrived at Kamui's office, Abuto was once again amazed at how messy the room was (it was like a vacuum cleaner had exploded). As Abuto's eyes were wandering, Kamui started talking making Abuto jump, "The elders have just ordered me to go investigate Hosen the Night King. Seems they suspect him of corruption. They also told me to bring along two others for support, so I chose you two. We're leaving tomorrow."

"Yes sir." Abuto and Ungyo nodded. As the two were leaving, they heard Kamui talking happily to no one in particular "We're off to Edo, gonna fight the Night King and maybe some Samurai too."

Abuto sighed, ever since Kamui had met those Kiheitai members, all he could talk about was Samurai this and Samurai that. "If only he could put this much effort into his Captain's duties." Abuto thought and kept on walking.

**So there it is. I've wanted to write this for a while, but when I started I kinda got stuck. But when I saw the Gintama movie today, I was inspired to finish it. Hope you enjoyed. And now I'm going to explain some of the character's (that I made up) names. **

**Unkyo (****云経****): made up of the Kanji for to say/call (****云****) and Buddhist scriptures (****経****).**

**Shinka (****神火****): means heavenly fire. Since both Kagura and Kamui's names have the kanji for god (****神****) in them, I thought Shinka was a good name for their mother (because she's a red-head and a Yato so she has a fiery personality)**

**Toya (****とや****): The syllables for Yato backwards, not much else went into that one.**

**Buntai Chizame ****Yato **(分隊**血雨夜兎****): Squad Bloody Rain Yato, I think it's pretty self-explanatory ^_^**

**So, if you'd like, please review. Every bit helps (I think Abuto might be a little out of character), even if it's to tell me something I did wrong.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


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